CARPE FEUDIEM

So there we were...strangers drawn together by our unique circumstances.  Three or four dozen survivors fearing, yet hoping that we might be next...but above all, hoping to escape with our lives.  No; this wasn't a group of Chilean miners.  And we certainly weren't families in a German concentration camp (no matter how bleak the future seemed).  But we were families...and we came from all over the map.  The Rios family from Chicago; the Thomas family from Georgia; the Wilson family from Orlando; the Whittern family from Oklahoma.  And I know that some of us (all of us) were wondering, "what were we thinking?" or "how did we get ourselves into this?"  And it was a reasonable query without a doubt: Why submit yourselves to possible public embarrassment?  And not just limited, controlled embarrassment amongst friends or family.  This could be coast to coast, replayed again and again, long after you're dead and gone YouTube-worthy embarrassment.

Actually, twelve families would start the day there in one of the Nickelodeon Studio 'green rooms' with dreams of 'big green money'...but only one family would leave with no regrets.  Most would quickly crash and burn.  We had already seen it happen.  We sat there in the audience as they taped the first two episodes of the day for the new season of Family Feud.  We saw the deer in the headlight stares.  We saw the split second difference between buzzing in, and sent home packing.  Yes, we saw the thrill of victory.  But we were especially cognizant now of the agony of defeat.  We watched as the ones with the 'wrong answers' came filing back in.  We saw the dejection.  We felt the'walk of shame' (or at least the 'descent of despondency').

Sure, we were told over and over again, "Enjoy the experience!" and "Just have fun!"  But isn't that what we're told to do every day?  Live the moment!  There are no promises of tomorrow!  That's been our instructions for nearly 3000 years!

Proverbs 27:1  Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.

Easier said than done.  So we tried our best to 'seize the day' (but in this case, it soon morphed into a modern case of Carpe Feudiem: Seize control of the game and try to sweep the board!)  What else could we do? We had already told all of our friends, neighbors, relatives, co-workers, church members, grocery store clerks, nurses, doctors, the whole staff at Walgreens, and every one we ran into that we were going to be on the Family Feud for goodness sakes!!!  Our tunnel memory up to that point was only of the 'high fives' and 'jumping jacks' that accompanied accurate answers and successful 'steals'.  No thought had been given to the SCARLET X of DEFEAT when they superimposed a Big Fat X across your face with each wrong response!  But the reality of it all quickly erased our delusions of becoming Game Show Juggernauts.

First thing, we were stripped of our IDs and our cell phones, and were all herded into the chamber (aka: the studio); then bright lights were pointed in our faces as we were grilled and questioned in 'rehearsal'.  'Rehearsal' is where you quickly go through a mock game play while you're being watched, graded, and sized up for 'show worthiness'.  Many are called...but not everyone is chosen (two or three families didn't make the show).  Personally, I wasn't really 'feeling it' in rehearsal and I wasn't sure how well we 'graded'.  I'm used to being 'under the spotlights' at the Rodeo Opry (and even in church, leading the music).  But 'hecklers' are few and far between at those venues...and the feedback from a performance is rarely so quickly received (or so anxiously awaited).  Let me just say that we definitely felt the difference between the lights of the living room and the lights of the studio.  And that was just with 'Eric' the 'stand-in' host!  So initially we were relegated to the audience and nervously sat and waited, knowing that Steve Harvey would soon be asking the questions (if and when we were chosen).  And this is a man who makes his living poking fun at the masses...in fact, his 'gift' is to see the humor in people and to make sport of them...especially their silly actions and their 'dumb' answers; and isn't that the charm of the Family Feud...normal people...being their normal, but human selves?  And here I was surrounded by a family of blondes.  Not dumb blondes; but blonde lambs, nonetheless, voluntarily being led by their shepherd to the slaughter.  So what do you do in times like these?  Seek solace in the Bible, of course:

Jeremiah 25:34 Weep and wail, you shepherds; roll in the dust, you leaders of the flock. For your time to be slaughtered has come; you will fall and be shattered like fine pottery.

Ooops.  "Bad answer, Bad answer!"

It was actually comforting and calming to observe a couple of shows...to watch the whole procedure...to witness the pressure from afar.  And fortunately, in our case, the waiting was quickly replaced by a sudden swarm of butterflies, for as we were walking out of the studio, towards the Green Room, I looked back and noticed out of the corner of my eye, that they had flashed 'WHITTERN' in blue lights behind the Family Podium, right across the stage from the high energy family that had just won their second game.  Gulp!!!

"Alright WHITTERN family...YOU'RE ON!"

1 Corinthians 9:24  Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Did we win?  Well, I can tell you that we ran a good race.  Were we embarrassed?  Well, I can also tell you that we did have some 'blonde moments' (and Steve Harvey had fun with the Whitterns).  How many of those moments made the show (and how they helped or hindered our success) will only be completely known (and shown) when the show hits the air.  At this writing, I don't know the day or hour; but unlike the return of Christ (Matthew 25:13 "Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour), in this case, the day and the hour (and the channel) will be e-mailed to me in a couple of weeks...then I will pass all that on to you.

Would you like a 'sneak peek'?  Well, one behind the scenes note: the crew quickly nicknamed Holly 'thong' and Katie 'bong'! (You'll see why when the show airs!)  There's even a cameo appearance from Rachel and her whole family (via the magic of FlipVideo).  And rumor has it that a video exists of the 'dance off' between Tito Rios and myself to the Black Eyed Peas tune "I Gotta Feeling" ("tonight's gonna be a good, good night!")

Yeah, I think we made the most of each moment :) and escaped with our lives (and our dignity).  So I'll close with this overused cliche: Film at 11:00 (or probably at 1:00 in Oklahoma).  I'll let you know! 

"Survey Says..."

So I'm sitting in my living room watching old episodes of the Family Feud on the Game Show Network; and I'm coming to some definite conclusions.  First of all, the #1 answer is definitely not always the right answer (and maybe this wasn't even MY #1 conclusion).  It's all so very, very subjective.  Ask 100 people...get an answer.  Ask 100 different people...get a different answer.  Secondly, watching the older episodes (even from the Richard Karn days) may do more harm than good.  The 'era' in which some of these questions were asked (and answered) are direct reflections of that era.  I need all the help I can to keep my mind in the 21st century and out of the 90s (as well as the 80s, 70s and 60s...just ask my kids).  So I'm afraid hearing how one generation responds may negatively affect my thought process.  Fact is, I'm not really sure how you go about preparing for the Feud.

"One hundred people surveyed.  Top six answers on the board.
Name a test you can't study for."

Drug Test.  IQ Test.  Blood Test.  Family Feud. (well, it should have been one of top answers.  Of course, it didn't make the list).  How about when God tests your faith.  Definitely not on the list.  Perhaps you CAN study for that...

So I'm sitting in church on Sunday morning, studying for my next faith test and listening to how the Pharisees, in their attempt to 'answer' questions about the Ten Commandments, had written some 24 chapters on what you could do and couldn't do on the Sabbath (at least and still keep it 'holy' in their eyes).

"100 Rabbis were surveyed, top 300 answers are on the board.
Name something you can't do on the Sabbath!"

Some of the answers that would have made the list?  "Pick up a piece of paper." "Hold a match." "Touch a hammer."  Jesus had the best answer.

Mark 2:27 Then he said to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.

In other words, "don't work so hard!"  If you have to WORK to observe the Sabbath, then you haven't RESTED.  And if the Sabbath doesn't give you rest...then it isn't WORKING!  Speaking of working...

So I'm sitting in the lobby of a hotel room in Lawton, OK (where I'm working for the week) and reading the USA Today.  My kids say I gotta keep up on current topics in case there are some sort of topical questions where I need to know the top answers.  I'm scanning the headlines; well, it looks like the Supreme Court is going to have the final answer on the whole California law regarding same-sex marriages. Hmmmm...

"Alright, we surveyed nine Supreme Court Justices.  All nine of their answers are on the board.  "Name two things you can legally marry in a California wedding."

A man and a woman.  Two men.  Two women.  A man and his dog.  A teacher and her student.  A woman and her plastic surgeon (we did say Cali).  Two first cousins (Cali...not Arkansas!).  A man and a boy (hey, twenty years ago we didn't think a man and a man would ever marry).  Chocolate and Peanut Butter (old news).  Charlie Sheen and girl de jour (Two and a half marriages).

Certainly the above answers I've given as I type this (even the legit ones) would have been far different if asked (and answered) in the early days of the Family Feud.  For instance, the number one answer for this Feud question: Name the most you would pay for a pair of shoes...was $25 for Richard Dawson's show.  For John O'Hurley's show it'd be at least four times that (maybe forty times that for Steve Harvey himself).  I think Michael Jordan helped a lot of us break the $100 barrier on shoes.

So, now you're sitting there at your computer wondering where all this is going (hopefully to Fast Money).  Well, it seems to me the Supreme Court is a whole lot like modern day Pharisees...making hundreds of decisions and interpretations on THEIR foundational law, the 10 Bill of Rights; and it seems like with each decision, they find themselves further and further from the 'spirit of the law'.  Maybe if Thomas Jefferson could return and clarify it all for us (like Jesus did for the 10 Commandments), we'd get it right.  Well, wait a minute...folks didn't listen to Jesus; so a Thomas Jefferson reincarnation wouldn't make a difference either.  Brings to mind the last line of the 'rich man and Lazarus' story from Luke.

Luke 16:31 ...'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' "

Survey the Supreme Court today; get some answers.  Survey the Supreme Court after a few more Liberal (or Conservative) appointments; get some different answers.  That's because we're not getting real answers.  We're getting real opinions....really varied opinions.  That's what really makes the Feud so difficult, so often.  The top answers aren't on the board.  The top opinions are there.

The real answer?  Discernment (or as John MacArthur pronounces it, "Dizzernment").  That's what I'm praying for as I study for the next 'faith test' (and yeah, the Family Feud too).  Sure I can usually come up with some answers to the questions.  But to get to the Fast Money; I mean if you really want to win the Big Money...you have to come up with the right ones.

So, what am I saying?  What am I asking?

Wish us 'discernment'!
("Good answer.  Good answer.  God answer!")

"Good answer, good answer, good answer!"

Well it's official! The weekend of August 20th, the Whittern Family will be winging their way to Orlando, Florida to film the Family Feud.  The enduring show that made such phrases as "Survey says!" and "Good answer, good answer, good answer!" part of our every day vocabulary (well it's part of MY every day vocabulary) will indelibly carve its niche into our family's history.  For the next few weeks, I will try to give you a 'behind the scenes' look at what being on the 'Family Feud' is like.  We're excited, pumped and looking forward to experiencing this as a family.

And why not?  Our family loves to play games.  We love to compete; especially against each other, but against other families...BRING IT ON.  We are not just 'more competitive than most families'...that's too cliche.  We're more competitive than YOUR family!  And no doubt, that starts with me.  I'm not fond of losing.

I can truly say alot of this began with my mom.  As you've probably picked up from previous blogs, she was a little different.  When I was quite young we would play Checkers, Monopoly, Scrabble, Clue, you name it; but unlike some mothers, my mom played to win.  She was good.  And even though you might expect her to go easy on her only child...it didn't happen.  When ever she could (which was quite often), she would beat me like a rented mule! Then to rub matronly salt (not to be confused with Mortonly Salt) in the wound, she would smile innocently, and ask, "Want to play again?"  Unfortunately, I was a pretty sore loser as a child and her glee in winning made me even more frustrated and definitely less pleasant to be around.  However, it taught me a valuable lesson.

Don't lose.

I had roommate at OBU that would routinely go down to the GC (basically the student union) and play ping pong or bumper pool with me.  He never won.  Particularly in ping pong, I would drill him over and over and over again.  It never bothered him.  I didn't get it then.  But now, as I've matured and grown as a man, as a Christian, as a human being...I still don't get it!  It's like people who want to play basketball or cards or WHATEVER and don't want to keep score.  What's the point?  In my mind, that's why I'm playing...score it, judge it, rank me; give me some results.  Allow me to compete.  Then try and stop me from winning.

That's probably why I entered so many speech tournaments in high school, as well as singing contests and songwriting competitions throughout the years...score it, judge it, rank me; give me some results. Go ahead and sit yourself in front of a TV watching a sporting event and wait and see how long before someone walks up and asks, "What's the score?"  Only the Harlem Globetrotters have made a living out of playing a game where the score doesn't matter...but their games are more like Disney On Hardwood than a basketball game, so I can't count that.

So how will we fare on Family Feud?  Well, for one thing, I don't think it's part of the make-up, at least of OUR family, to say, "Good answer, good answer, good answer!" if one of us spouts out a questionable, marginal response.  I suspect that the producers of the show tell you to do it that way.  Maybe they instruct you to be enthusiastic and show support for your fellow family members and their feeble attempts.  I'll let you know.  But around my house if someone blurts out an iffy answer, you're more likely to hear, "Are you kidding me?"  A really stupid answer may get, "What are you smokin'?" or "Is that all you got?"  We try to avoid the 'idiot' word at all costs...but it can be so apropos.  Maybe we'll be the first family to actually shout at each other, "Bad answer, dumb answer, bad answer!"  Trust me...none of our bunch are willing to live with the ridicule involved with a truly 'bad answer'...or worse yet, NO answer at all ...followed by the dreaded XXX sound effect (annoying huh?).

To that end, we've been watching and playing along with the Family Feud each day (or in truth, we'll record several episodes and play them at one sitting on the weekend).  This has been going on for several months now.  In fact, we're starting to even see reruns (of the reruns).  We'll text questions to each other out of the blue.  We'll make random phone calls to Holly in Maui ("Name a place you go for a cheap date!")  We'll play on Facebook.  We'll talk strategy (play or pass?).  We are ready!  And one thing I can assure you...it might not always be #1, but we are prepared to give an answer!

1 Peter 3
15 Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.

Hopefully our lives demonstrate the 'hope' we have in Jesus.  When that happens, it should generate some curiosity, some interest, some questions.  I'm afraid we all should be concerned about the 'blooper video' awaiting us in Heaven for the lousy answers we've given here on earth (and maybe the lack of questions we were asked!).  And even when we've given 'good answers', if we didn't give them with kindness or 'gentleness and respect', then we don't want that video shown either!

Speaking of 'blooper videos', watch these two guys go for the "Not So Fast Money!"  Hopefully our family will do better than they did.  If not, when we return and you ask me about it, I may say, "I'm not really sure when that's going to air," and then quickly change the subject.  Or I may just not have an answer for you at all ...especially if that's what happened on the show!  More to come...