Twenty Two Minutes and Three Seconds of Fame

Yes, I'm well aware of the Andy Warhol prediction (and now overused phrase) that in the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes (first stated in 1968, and then reiterated by Mr. Warhol again in 1979). And I'm telling you, with Reality TV, American Idol, YouTube, Twitter and who-knows-what next, it's become eerily accurate. At any rate, maybe by the time this blog is complete, you can figure out my math (and where the extra seven minutes and three seconds came from).

Just call me a geek. I like numbers. I'm good with them; and math comes easy to me. Remember a phone number? Easy. Algebra? You bet! Excel spread sheets? Bring 'em on. Numbers allow us to quantify, measure and compare things. Numbers are objective; how we analyze them is subjective. But this blog isn't about numbers...necessarily. But it will stay true to the 'randym thoughts' title; so get ready for a 'number' of them!

My wife and I recently went to see the movie Heaven's Rain. It's a great movie, that accurately and factually tells the true story of an Oklahoma pastor and his family's home invasion in October 1979 (they weren't really called home invasions back then; that term didn't really catch on until about 1995, but that indeed was what it was). I highly recommend the movie. It's certainly a different movie than Fireproof, but every bit as relevant to the concept of 'forgiveness' as any movie you'll see. Since it happened here in the Bible Belt, it is especially engaging. In addition to that, my family attended Putnam City Baptist Church (in 1972) when this pastor, Richard Douglas, was there so I was even more intrigued. (In October of '79 I was in Fresno, California playing rock-n-roll. Back then, before the Internet, news coverage of this in the 'Valley' was scarce, so my first hand knowledge of the crime was limited. I do remember my mom calling to tell me about it on the phone). But to be honest, my main reason to go see the film was to see if I was going to be in it.

You see, I spent a day in McAlester earlier this year (a very COLD day as I recall) playing the part of a newspaper reporter, covering the execution of Steven Hatch (as an extra, mind you).  But I was in three scenes.  Three very important scenes I thought.  I'll save you the boring details, but the first two scenes only appeared on the cutting room floor.  The final scene, where we have left the execution chamber, and are taking the LONG walk across the prison courtyard remained.  The scene opens with about 3 seconds of an eerie full moon next to a prison guard tower (see pic above).  And then (drum roll), my three seconds of fame; a very abbreviated walk into infamy.  If you see the movie (and you should), focus on the moon!  When it fades out, I burst upon the scene.  (Alright, the honesty just exited stage left.)  The truth is, I totally missed it the first time I watched it. Luckily, I snuck my Flip into the theatre, and preserved the moment, and I do mean moment, for y'all to see.  Notice the guy in the middle with his hand out...

Raise your hand, Randy, so everyone can see which one you are!

Coincidentally, as Heaven's Rain ends its run in Oklahoma City (on the 30th), Whittern's Reign (aka: Family Feud) starts its run.  If my sources are correct, October 4th at 1:00 p.m. you'll be able to see the Whit Family in all their glory...twenty two minutes of fame!  You see, one of the things the producer (Gaby - see her in the pic) mentioned when we were getting our pre-game pep talk and instructions, was that they had to cram a whole show, including all of Steve Harvey's antics into just 22 minutes. 



Executive Producer, Gaby talks to the Whittern Family before the show



And although we're obviously not in ALL 22 minutes of the show, the Whitterns vs the Wilsons was a heavy weight fight; four rounds of action with both families duking it out for camera time.  The Wilsons were the first family out of the chute that day (playing a returning champ) for a reason.  They were a flamboyant, outgoing family, and by the time we got to them, they were out for their third win (I had the feeling that none of the other families wanted to play them, either).  It's actually been kind of interesting, because they've already shown the Wilson's first show, where they beat a really strong opponent, The Farwell Family (going for THEIR third win).  It was a really funny show, so I'm not surprised they snuck it in early.  Be watching for their second show, when they take on the family with Shamus, the ballroom dance instructor.  It's a hoot.

One of the things I've noticed, much like in the movies, editing has a significant impact on the final product.  For instance, each show we saw taped, began with the traditional 'family introductions' (usually made by the family captain). So far, I've yet to see one of these make the show.  And I can understand why.  How many times do we want to hear the phrase 'my lovely wife' or 'my crazy cousin'?  Let's leave the comedy to the professional (Steve Harvey) so we can get to the 'stupid answers' as fast as we can. 

 After all, the clock's rolling, and we only have 22 minutes to spare.  Truth is, they switched our order right before we went on, and I accidentally introduced Holly as 'my sister' (instead of as 'her sister' referencing Katie).  I've introduced hundreds of singers and entertainers in over 20 years as an MC at various shows and Oprys, so it's something I almost do for a living...and I still had some 'duh' moments.  So I'm glad the intros are gone.

The Feud is a great vehicle for Steve Harvey and although it is still very much about the families and their personalities (and their answers), just watching Steve is worth tuning in for. Every show I've watched (and I've seen about 25 of them so far) has been entertaining and funny.  Hands down, it has become the best game show on TV.

Fame itself is fleeting. I see it every time I mention an artist or actor from the 70s (or the 60s) when my kids are around. Will my grandkids know who 'Farrah' was? How about Rowan and Martin, Jan and Dean, Chad and Jeremy? I grew up listening to Dean Martin on my mom's stereo. One of the first albums I listened to was King Creole. I went to an Elvis Extravaganza at the State Fair on Tuesday night to see a good friend of mine, Rich Vickers do his ETA (Elvis Tribute Artist) performance (he was superb, by the way). Elvis is alive and well because of these types of events, but the others I mentioned are not so lucky (and not so famous).

It seems like the way you DIE has a great effect on your fame...

                                   ...when it should be the way that you lived.

People also confuse 'fame' with 'success'. You can be famous, for good and bad reasons...and even the good reasons don't usually translate into making a living at it. If fame is fleeting, success from that fame is even harder to hang on to. Think of the unhappy child stars. Think of the college athletes who didn't go pro (or tried to, but couldn't). A life can't be judged on how famous it was (or wasn't). 

There seems to be a buzzword about making Jesus famous.  Has there been anyone MORE famous, MORE sustaining than Jesus Christ?  I don't feel the need to make Jesus famous...just important...in my own life.  The rest will take care of itself.  It is quickly apparent what is important in people's lives.  If Christ isn't important in my life, then I won't be much of a PR guy for Him.

Fame seems to be more of a selfish thing...an earthly thing.  In a generation or two, the people we consider famous now, will barely be remembered.  Maybe a history book or two will chronicle their place in history; but the more history we have, even that club becomes more and more exclusive.  Outside of Oklahoma, the Murrah bombing is about two generations away from being nearly forgotten.  Truth is, I can't really remember my great-grandparents.  Fast forward three generations; who will remember you? I loved my mom.  I have great and fond memories of her (notice I've mentioned her several times in this blog).  But my grandkids didn't know her. They certainly won't remember her.

James 4:14  Whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.

Your 15 minutes of fame (when and if it comes) won't change anything.  It won't have any real or lasting effect on your life one way or the other.  Nor will my twenty two minutes and three seconds of fame.  And what money you make off of it (if any) will vanish like the million or so dollars most of us will actually earn in our lifetimes (you do the math...$35,000 a year for 30 years).  But what I do about Jesus...that's another thing entirely.  I believe that will have eternal significance.  At a minimum, being a Christian has given my life meaning and my faith has sustained me.  Fame?  You can keep all twenty one minutes and thirty-eight seconds of it.

Where'd the rest go, you ask?  You do the math...
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The captain of the Wilson Family, Secily Wilson was quite a lady.  She and Donna struck up a quick friendship in the lady's room (Donna let Secily borrow her mirror).  She was great TV.  Check her out on the web!   
   

Real Living! with Riva and Secily

Approximate Wait Time for this Blog - 30 Minutes (Part Two)

Animal Kingdom was a great addition to the Disney Theme Parks.  Maybe because it was a whole park that I had never been to before.  But the Safari ride through the live, wild animals was superb and it kind of made the Jungle Cruise over at Magic Kingdom null and void.  It was like a zoo without bars (although we had a couple of cold waters when we were done ;).  The park was really busy that day (and muggy).  And the 'Fast Pass' machines kept messing up, so that an attendant was continually having to help folks get their complementary passes.  Now I've always been one to like to beat the system (one of my many bad traits) and my son has followed in my footsteps, and in fact walked quickly past me in that regards.  He observantly noticed that many times, when all other efforts failed, the Disney worker was reaching around the back of the Fast Pass machine, and pushing a mysterious button that automatically spit out a Fast Pass.  So, from that point forward, whenever we needed a Fast Pass and the machine wasn't cooperating (either because it was truly malfunctioning or because we hadn't waited the mandatory 'hour' between Fast Pass dispersals), Dustin would reach around to the back of the machine, punch the button a few times and voila, we were armed and dangerous...or to misquote the old Palladin line, "HAVE TICKET - WILL TRAVEL!"

Observance and diligence will take you far in life...or at least will put more 'magical' in your day.

Proverbs 13:4 The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.

But the rides that affected me the most throughout several days of themeparking, were the Disney rides that I had first ridden 40 years ago in California (and later about 20 years ago in Florida).  Rides like the Pirates of the Carribean for instance.  There was such talk about the 'animatronics' and the realness of the characters back in the day for some of these rides.  And in fact, many of the sights were mesmerizing back then...the old 'Disney Magic' was alive and real.  But this time around, I could have really cared less.  I was mildly disappointed that they were refurbishing the It's A Small World ride (mostly because I wanted a cool place to sit for awhile).  And if the Pirates of the Carribean would have had much of a line (we basically walked right on), we probably would have skipped it.  We didn't darken the door of the Tiki Hut or the Hall of Presidents (The Tiki Hut said it was 'Under New Management'; I assume the Hall of Presidents is now, too ;).  When I was younger (even as an adult) I would have stood in line and waited for all of these rides (and did). But I've lost my passion for them. For me the 'magic' has worn off.

The rides haven't changed.  I have.
 
Revelation 2:3-5 You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.

There's no doubt I have extended periods of exuberance for Christianity.  But like many of us, I have times when I punch the clock...go through the motions.  It's like I'm riding the Pirates of the Carribean, but I'm thinking about what's for lunch or how tired I am...oblivious to the "YO HOs".  The hound dog still has the keys to the jail cell.  The three pirates behind bars are still trying to coax him over.  And even the horny old pirates are still chasing the 'women of the night' round and round in a circle.  Been there; done that! (the ride...I'm talking about the RIDE).

It's not that I'm lukewarm.  But no doubt I find myself HOT, then COLD; much like the Roller Coaster: I'm FIRE; then ICE.  The ride of life is still coming at me just as fast as ever; full of twists and turns, followed by periods of waiting and watching.  But it's so much better when you're on FIRE; versus being on ICE.  (However, being drenched and beaten by rain pellets at 60 or 70 miles an hour is no picnic, no matter how enthusiastic you are.)

There's always more ground to cover.  One more corner to turn.  One more ride to discover.  But the ride is only as fun, interesting, and engaging as my enthusiasm is for it.  So I find myself, over and over praying the REAL version of Isaiah 40:31 and asking that I run and not grow weary...walk and not be faint.  And as with most scriptures, the original version will sustain me through every event in life (no matter how wild the ride).

About two years ago I had the opportunity to sit down with Eddie DeGarmo and just talk for over an hour.  He was there in Estes Park, CO to give a talk/lecture during the Seminar in the Rockies when I was up there a couple of summers ago.  I wasn't about to miss it.  My first official date with Donna was at a DeGarmo & Key concert in the 80s.  He was the driving force behind one of the first and most successful (from my point of view) Christian rock bands during those early years.  But the venue (room) where he was slated to speak was one of the more obscure ones at the YMCA of the Rockies; and also it was on Friday morning of the week long conference...and many of the young artists clamoring to be discovered, and so certain that they were the next MercyMe or Chris Tomlin had packed up their homemade CDs and left Estes Park early to return to their home towns in dejection and despondency (like so many of the disappointed Feud families).  So, when I trotted up to the room and peaked in, I realized the small auditorium was dark.  I wandered back into the lobby, and asked the old guy sitting on the couch if the seminar had been cancelled.  He replied, "I think it's probably just you and me, partner.  How are you?  I'm Eddie DeGarmo."  So, I sat down, and Eddie and I talked for over an hour.   He told me how he went from traveling and performing, to publishing (and I found out he had been REALLY successful in both arenas).  It was SO interesting and better than any lecture I could have attended.  A one-on-one impromptu session with Eddie DeGarmo...just sitting on the couch, shootin' the breeze.  I tell you this story, because one their best songs (see below) aptly describes my feelings about all this and sums up my Christian ride.  I don't want to be 'casual' about it. 
I sure don't want to be 'lukewarm'.  I want to excitedly choose my music...then Rip Ride and Rockit!  And when unexpected storms arrive, I want to show patience and be willing to wait for whatever God has in store for me.  And I want to do it with decorum and class (no matter what those around me are doing or saying; or yelling!).

Casual Christian - DeGarmo & Key

Approximate Wait Time for this Blog - 30 minutes (Part One)

With each generation society changes...I'm tempted to say evolves; but the word 'evolves' denotes a 'bettering' or an 'advanced state'.  So I think I'll stick with 'changes'.  Today's generation (and my generation to some extent) not only wants, but expects to 'have it all'.  Don't save for the future.  Don't save for emergencies.  Don't save for anything!  The newest cars, houses, clothing, shoes and gadgets are just a credit card swipe or a computer click away.
Buy now.  Pay later.  Pay way more later.  Maybe never pay. 

You know the obvious things.  Here's one of the not so obvious things I noticed while in Florida doing the 'Feud'.  Back in the day, when you visited Disneyland (that's all we had back then), you bought a book of tickets (how many remember that?).  You had A, B, C, D and E tickets.  The A and B tickets were for the lesser rides (like Cinderella's Golden Carousel or the Shootin' Gallery or Swiss Family Treehouse).  The D and E tickets were the 'golden' ones for the Haunted Mansion or the Jungle Cruise.  In fact, even the Hall of Presidents and the Country Bear Jamboree required a prized D or E ticket (we didn't even bother with either of those attractions this time).  The point is, you had to decide which ride you REALLY wanted to ride or which attraction you really wanted to see; because once that E ticket was gone, that was it.  No more 'cool' rides.  My parents (especially my dad) were not about to shell out $5.95 for another book just so I could ride one more 'cool' ride.  No amounts of "Please, please, please, please!" would change their mind either.  Every once in awhile, I might be able to con my mom out of one of her tickets (she wasn't a big fan of rides), but the bottom line was this: you didn't expect to ride all the rides.  You waited in line.  You gave up your last 'E' ticket.  And you made sure you enjoyed it.  End of story.

But today is so different.  Not only do the kids expect to ride every ride, they want to ride them more than once, and not have to stand in line.  So now Disney has come up with the Fast Pass.  You obtain this at the entrance of each ride.  It gives you a specific time to come back (usually more than an hour or two later) and take the 'Fast Pass' to the front of the line.  Now the rule is you can only get one fast pass each hour.  So we had to bounce from one side of the park to the other, grabbing as many fast passes as we could, in an attempt to ride as many rides as possible (with as little waiting as possible).  Now I'm not saying that standing in line is some sort of rite of passage on the way to Nirvana or a 'trial' that you must endure to be 'worthy' of riding some 3 minute thrill ride.  But it's a microcosm of our "I-want-it-and-I-want-it-now microwave world" that we live in.  ("OMG, the iPhone 4.0 is SO much faster than the iPhone 3G!"  Who knew?  Who cares?).

It was interesting to hear people from all over the world, rapidly blurting out their native language, interspersed with the words 'Fast Pass' here and there.  'Fast Pass' is the same in EVERY language!  But I found myself getting sucked into it also.  During our time at the Universal Studios theme park, we paid the extra to get THEIR version of the Fast Pass called the Express Pass (and honestly it WAS worth every penny).  You didn't have to come back later for the Express Pass.  You just went from ride to ride, straight through the park.  No planning; hardly any waiting.  You didn't have to spend an hour in the heat, in a line with very little air circulation, next to those same nationalities that don't have the same bathing habits as we do or next to the teenagers using the wait in line as foreplay for the ride they hoped to experience later.  You got in, you got on, you rode; you got in, you got on, you rode!  More time to eat the high priced food, and shop the high priced gift shops.  Universal gets more money from you and somehow we're all happier.

Now there were one or two rides that did NOT except the 'Express Pass' (aren't there ALWAYS exceptions?) One of them was the Rip Ride Rockit Roller Coaster; where you got to choose the music you listen to during the ride from a list of several genres and artists (kind of like you choose your own music for your final ride into eternity, aka: your funeral).  So this particular day, we chose an opportune time (about lunch time, when we hoped the wait would be the shortest) and got in line.  The 'estimated wait time' posted at the beginning of the line was 45 minutes, so we figured if that was our longest wait of the day, we'd be in good shape.  During your stint in line, the video monitors constantly played examples of the music from which you could chose. Strangely enough, there was no Gospel music to pick from (guess I'll save that for the aforementioned 'final' ride).  Since I once worked with a preacher that had an affinity for ZZ Top (shout out to BBB), I decided that I would choose 'that lil ol band from Texas' to scream along with.

Rip Ride Rockit Roller Coaster

Now I'm not saying it was a 'sign', but I was soon reminded that God controls the weather; for as we were standing on the platform, after about an hour wait, and only three groups away from climbing aboard, an announcement came over the loud speakers (you can't miss the announcements, because they turn off the LOUD music to make them) and it said, "Due to inclement weather in the area, the Rip Ride Rockit Roller Coaster is temporarily closed."  It had been cloudy and rainy off and on throughout the morning, but it hadn't seemed to be an issue until now.  Obviously, some poor soul's final ride into eternity had been on a roller coaster (probably while listening to rap) thanks to some well timed 'lightning' in the past; because we soon discovered that the park had a policy that when the thunder rolls, the coasters do not.  So you can image the reactions and verbal barrage that soon followed that announcement from the throngs of hot, sweaty people who had not only been denied their Sixth Amendment rights to a 'fair and speedy ride' (through use of the Express Pass) but were now being denied their 'Freedom of Screech' (after all, that's what you do on a roller coaster; at least I believe it was one of the answers to the Family Feud question: Name Something You Do On A Roller Coaster).  So I was nervously hoping no one wanted to exercise their Second Amendment rights to bear arms; especially the Hispanic Family just behind us.  They were 'lívido' and they were letting the innocent workers have it in Spanglish.  I understood the English parts, and my son (who just spent several months near the Mexican border in south Texas) assured me the Spanish slang they were using was equally 'condescendiente' and 'abrasivo'.  I suddenly felt I had been time warped to a really bad carnival in a really bad part of town and found myself watching for the glint of a 'shank' suddenly appearing out of a pair of slaggin FUBUs.  Fortunately, before the crowd could bum rush the poor kids who were just working their summer jobs between semesters, the thunder stopped; and the coaster rolled.

The weather reared its ugly head off and on that whole day.  We wound up riding the Fire side, of the Fire and Ice Roller Coaster in a driving rain (obviously there was no lightning present at the time; either that or the workers decided it was better to risk our lives than theirs).  I can only describe it as being catapulted on a wheelchair through a car wash at a hundred miles an hour (and yes, I paid to have this done to me).  Fortunately, we were able to use our Express Pass, and the kids (not the mom or dad), rode it several times.  For me, once was enough.

The most strenuous ride we rode during our time in Orlando?  The Disney Parkwalk Asphalt Marathon.  Donna's phone measures the number of steps taken each day, and we discovered that we were averaging about six miles per day.  Fast Pass my ACHING FEET!!!
It caused me to retranslate Isaiah 40:31!

Those that wait in line (Lord help me!) will renew their strength.  They will buckle up and then soar like eagles.  They will ride and not grow weary...they will walk (and ride some more) and not grow faint.

(to be continued)